No, instead, Tesla (TSLA)
is selling on its website a branded pair of red, satin short shorts
— a jab at investors who “shorted” the company, essentially betting on its stock falling.
Unfortunately for any readers who would have been willing to shell out $69.420 (yes, really) for a pair of tiny Tesla gym shorts, they’re already sold out. Apparently they went fast: Soon after announcing the shorts were on sale, Musk tweeted
, “Dang, we broke the website.”
“Tesla will make fabulous short shorts in radiant red satin with gold trim,” Musk tweeted
last week, hinting at the new merch. “Will send some to the Shortseller Enrichment Commission to comfort them through these difficult times.”
In typical Musk fashion, that tweet came shortly before another off-color quip
apparently also aimed at his doubters and the Securities and Exchange Commission: “SEC, three letter acronym, middle word is Elon’s.”
Just last year, Tesla was strapped for cash
. In May 2019, the electric carmaker was selling debt and additional shares
of stock to raise $2.7 billion to replenish its coffers. A depressed share price forced the company to pay off a $920 million bond in cash rather than stock. In its ten-year history, the company had only posted a handful of quarterly profits.
But in January, the company posted
its first-ever annual profit — and the company’s positive momentum has continued from there.
Despite interruptions from the coronavirus pandemic — including stay-at-home orders which Musk referred to
as “fascist” — Tesla last week posted relatively strong car delivery numbers
for the second quarter of the year.
The company delivered 90,650 cars to customers during the quarter, down 5% from a year ago, but far less than the drops of 30% or more reported by other automakers. Tesla’s second-quarter sales were also up a bit from the 88,400 cars it delivered in the first quarter.
The cars are celebrated on the new Tesla shorts. The rear of the shorts features each of the Tesla model numbers, “S3XY,” emblazoned in gold lettering.
According to Tesla, the shorts will provide “exceptional comfort from the closing bell.”